On being disgusted

Have you ever worked for someone that you kind of despised? Completely felt opposed to their values & policies? I have, and it's just as awful as you'd imagine... granted, it's not like i was working as an assassin or forced to do seemingly terrible things against my will, & i know at this stage in the game everyone should be grateful for any job they have...BUT i've got to throw some thoughts out into cyber space after last week.

First off let me start out by saying that i am incredibly thankful that i no longer work for the company that i'm about to complain about... but, that i am also grateful for having had the opportunity to have worked there. I met some amazing people because i was employed there, my incredible boyfriend, & current boss just to name a few.


Once upon a time i worked for a big bank, one of those giant Banks you hear about on the nightly news that you probably drive past often, maybe even daily, maybe you even have a mortgage with them, or a checking/savings account, they are, after all, in most cases, right around the corner. I was one of their beloved employees once upon a time, and by beloved i do mean disposable.

Initially, i enjoyed my job - i liked interacting with different types of people on a daily basis, I felt good about helping individuals & was getting acquainted to the typical working class hours of corporate America employees. It was an adjustment, being that all of previous jobs were in more creative, laid back & local environments. I was hopeful though, a recent college grad & believed that i was easily on the path towards upper level positions where opportunities could be seemingly endless, and in turn my income would grow as well. Awesome, right? wrong.

As the months moved on and my immediate management shifted, i gathered a better understanding of what was actually surrounding me. Pressure "from above" to meet necessary quotas by any means possible, even if that meant situational ethics were removed from the equation. It was standard for my boss to suggest that i flirt with men to get more accounts, that i hit up grandmothers to open children's savings accounts, & attend on-sites ( booths setup outside of the traditional banking institution, where we can not accept money ) to convince students, typically struggling lower middle class students, to sign-up for "free" accounts in exchange for ridiculous bartering gifts.

I became disgusted with the institution that I was working for, not to mention the individuals over me who were so numbers driven they lost all sight of dignity & morality. It was harder and harder to maintain my positive attitude in working environments, i was told that my outgoing, bubbly personality & easy going nature were sometimes interpreted as immaturity & it would be best to not "stand out so much". It really got to me, and in hindsight i hate that i let them beat me down... but, that's neither here nor there. i'm just rambling.

what's really disgusting is how many people i watched them brain wash & destroy. Countless people, myself included, who were made to feel that no matter what they accomplished or how much they achieved - it was never enough, and there was always more to be obtained. This theory makes sense in some scenarios, but when one does not feel valued - this constant response becomes debilitating. In addition, there was a perpetual feeling of insecurity that we could be replaced at any time.... as if scare tactics on one's job security is the most efficient way of achieving a job well done on their behalf.

Last week i learned that one of the most dependable, knowledgeable, hard-working & loyal employees i had the pleasure of working with at the aforementioned company was let go. My heart broke a little, and i decided that what my nineteen months in the banking industry really taught me, is that big banks have ZERO appreciation for the quality of work that is put forth by an individual - only the quantity of $$ one can bring their disgusting institution.

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