nine months in vs nine months out

it's hard to fathom that nine months ago i was nearing the end of my pregnancy & about to meet a tiny little baby that would make our hearts explode. Somehow... she has been here nine whole months- making us laugh, challenging us & bringing more fulfillment than i ever thought possible.
she gives me these sweet soft smiles & i melt.  I swear, this babygirl is everything good in the universe.

Poppy knows how to clap her hands (on request too!) & it's basically my favorite thing ever. I am legitimately beaming with pride every time she does it.  We sing "Clappa Hannies, Clappa Hannies" and she gets so excited clappin' those hands!  Also, she gets bonus cuteness points for knowing "clappa hannies" instead of "clap your hands".  All cred for that goes to her Scottish Nana.

She likes books, blocks, drumming on everything (!!) and in case you were wondering... crawling is so last month, ma - she is so fast especially chasing Doogle (side note: how am i going to keep up with her when she's walking/running?)  She is so strong, pulling up & "cruising" along all the furniture. Girl can move!

It's bittersweet watching her grow. Sure, i love seeing all the new wonderful things she does, listening to new sounds she makes, melting when i hear "mama" but also, a part of me just wishes she could stay small forever.

love you Poppy Quinn.

brand new / modest mouse

Another brand new show in the books. Is post show depression a real thing? I swear every time i see BN i am left bummin the days that follow once it's over. This is partially likely because 1. they are my favorite band. and 2. i always buy tickets to their shows super early (this time in January) & spend months thinking / getting hyped about it. Then they play their last song and I'm left gratefully standing in awe, before the sadness rushes over me that it's over... 'til next time.

This was my first time seeing them in Tampa, and also my first time seeing Modest Mouse - who i gotta say - were incredible live. Side note: I had no idea they had so many musicians, at one point they had nine people on stage! What up Arcade Fire? ha anyway, back to Brand New...

We were back in the pit (last May in St. Auggie i opted for seats since i was carrying Poppy inside my belly to her first BN show... how responsible of me, i know.) Theres nothing better than being in the pit for Brand New.  I will say i though, the crowd was the tamest i've ever seen at one of their shows. Maybe thats better since I'm closing in on thirty-one (gasp!) no longer crowd surfing or looking to leave shows covered in bruises.  Geez, i sound so old. But seriously, this did allow for ample dance space. ha. They slayed.  Jesse had me hanging on every word as per us & vin was blowing me away on the guitar.  I didn't get a photo at the end of their set of their screens displaying the upside down cross BRAND NEW 2000 - 2018, but it was there & maybe i'll steal one off the internet & post it here later? i love photos of them live even though I've only taken a handful myself at all the BN shows I've been to.  I like to be present & i can't fucking stand the people with their phones up for the entirety of the show. SO annoying.... but, i'd by lying if i said i didn't cherish one quick amazing shot i got at house of blues a few years ago. Here's one from Saturday -

Oh and while I'm fan girling out over here -- for the record, Jesse has already stated they aren't breaking up, just that they won't be touring forever (can you blame them?) & i personally see the 2000 - 2018 as their way of staying eighteen forever. the setlist was killer. No, they did not play IAAN, despite it being listed. Nor did they play Sealed to Me, which i was so hoping for (i even desperately tweeted a request to them. ha.) They were amazing, but it did feel a little rushed, probably because they were opening that night. They didn't even do an encore, and i was left so confused because I've never seen that. i blame the crowd for that. (insert all the emo Erin tears here.) There was so much magic though - I'm pretty positive that was their live debut of 1996 - which was killer to see. I love that the last 3 times i have seen them they have added those Fight Off Your Demons leaked demos into their live sets. and Noro. ahh they played Noro - when we arrived at our hotel across the street i could hear them playing it for sound check & i was stoked, i knew we were in for a good set.

We were for sure.  It was really nice to get out to a show, smoke copious amounts of cloves, drink, listen to live music & socialize.  My hopes of running into Andrea (Jesse's ridiculously rad wife) were crushed but i did get to have a real date with my hubs and hang with friends i hadn't seen in forever. and met a really awesome girl as well. Not too shabs.

This was my first night away from Poppy.  I cried leaving her with my mom before we drove down and i missed her so much after the show in our hotel - it just felt so unnatural to be away from her.  What i thought would be incredible uninterrupted sleep was the opposite.  Apparently I'm now programmed to wake every 2 hours in a panic about my baby.  Cool huh?  I was elated to get my hands on her for kisses the next day.

ok thats it. Please let the new album come out soon.